The inevitable post-submission spiral of panic

I SENT IT I SENT IT I SENT IT

The sketchbook is safe in LBC and ready to wing its merry way westward. Now I'm finally allowing myself to look at other people's work.

And I'm flipping out.

I haven't completed a project in so long that my massive inferiority complex, dormant these many months, has come roaring out of its cave again, ready to engage.

I mean, look at this stuff. Just look at it. Alina Chua's beautiful watercolours and pen work. Nicole Deyton's idea for an epistolary narrative with illustrated articles straight out of alternate-universe issues of Popular Science. Rossana Bossu's sensitive, wondrous illustrations. And that's after 15 minutes on Google.

I mean, I'm happy with a lot of my work, I just can't shake the knowledge that hundreds of people are going to be thumbing through it, thinking hmph, I've seen better. And that's normal, and part of being an artist, and it's actually true and something I have to deal with unless I want to live in a cave for the rest of my life and never show my art in public again.

But I don't have to like it.

--

Will be posting the last of the notebook and thoughts on the process of creating it, soon.

QUEEN OF DORKS

Ok so I single-handedly won a sudden death round at Trivia Night tonight, getting ALLLLLLLLLLLLL the questions right!!!!! ANNNNND they had a Kids' Lit round so NATURALLY I aced it!!!!!!

And we BEAT OUT the top two super-genius teams who win practically every Trivia Night and we can finally GET OUR PICTURE ON THE WALL OF FAME!!! WOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

.............the thought does occur that if any of you Geek Fight peeps had been here you would have gotten even more questions right. That sudden death round was on urbandictionary terms, for Hawking's sake. I cannot believe I was the ONLY one who answered 'Hipsters' on one question and 'Dork' on another. I mean, what do people do all day?*

BUT STILL I HELPED OUR TEAM WIN FIRST PLACE WOOOOOOOOOOOO

*yes, I know the answer is 'something more interesting, usually.' let me have my moment plz.

silvertoes

For some reason I've been feeling like Silvertoes all this week. Don't ask me why.

Parokya ni Edgar - Silvertoes...
Transcription and translation by my friend Lyra

Wag ka nang magalala
Hinding, hindi ako inlab sayo
Bakit ba pakiramdam mo pa yata
Lahat kami ay naaakit mo
Don't worry
We're really not in love with you
Why do you feel that
You're charming us all?

Miss, miss, pakitigil lang please
Ang iyong pagpapantasya
Hindi ka na nakakatuwa
Ipapagulpi na kita sa gwardyang may batuta
Miss, miss please stop
Your delusions
You're not funny anymore
I'm gonna have you beaten up by a guard with a bat
AAaaaa...yay yay yah.....

Hindi ko talaga ma-gets kung bakit ka ganyan
Ang feeling mo ay sabik sa iyo ang lahat nang kalalakihan
Sorry, pagpasensyahan mo na
Mali talaga ang iyong inaakala
Lahat kami ay nandidiri sa iyo
Ikaskas mo na sana ang mukha mo sa semento
I don't really get why you're like that
You feel like all the men are panting for you
Sorry, I beg your pardon
What you assume is wrong
We're all disgusted with you
I wish you'd grind your face against the cement (!!!)

Di kami na-tuturn on sa kutis mong kulay champurado
Di kami naaakit sa labi mong garabucho...
O please naman, pakitanggap mo na lang ang katotohanan
Na ganyan ka 'pinanganak
Wag ka nang magpapanggap na ikaw ay isang dalagang ubod ng ganda
Kahit na alam naman natin na ang karakas mo ay ubod ng sama
We're not turned on by your chocolate rice pudding skin (?!?)
We're not attracted to your dung shovel lips (?!?!!!!!!!!)
Please face the truth
That you're just born that way
Don't pretend that you're a staggeringly beautiful maiden
We all know that your appeal is nasty

Siguro nga naman ay may mga mas pangit pa sa yo
Pero at least hindi sila nagpapakyut katulad mo
Nakaka-bad-trip ka, nakakairita tuwing kita'y nakikita
Di ko alam ba't ang laki ng ulo mo
Magingat-ingat ka, baka ikaw ay sagasaan ko
I'm sure there are those uglier than you
But at least they don't pretend to be cute like you do
You are so annoying. You put me in a foul mood when I see you
I don't know why you're head is so swelled up
You better be careful, I might just run you over

Huh. When I look at it in English, it's even more horrible.