WTF Richard II

So Hello_Tailor did a magnificent post of the Beeb's new Richard II starring Ben Whishaw as the flailiest drama king who ever did way too much drama and not enough kinging. Please check out her posts on the Hollow Crown series, they are amazing. The series itself is also amazing, as made evident by the beautiful Tom Hiddleston as Prince Hal.

Unfortunately I missed the first half hour of the film, and I was watching it with my grandmother, so it didn't occur to me to start tweeting it until I had to flee the TV room because I was laughing so hard at Richard's flouncy outfits. Here is a transcript of my tweets, with illustrations (my tweets are in white, hello_tailor's in grey):

@Hello_Tailor Richard II is showing! My gran sent me out of the room for inappropriate giggling at each costume change, so y'know, thanks XD

@Hello_Tailor4h

@perevision needs more GOLD

@Hello_Tailor it is not helping that I have your post open AS I WATCH

@Hello_Tailor the floofy trailing sleeves, oh God. Also, Patrick Stewart's accent is delicious

I did forget to draw from time to time, because the movie for all its crackiness is incredibly well-acted and beautiful, and it was REALLY HARD to look away from the gorgeous trainwreck that is His Jesusishness Richard II.

@perevision Protected account4h

Perhaps 'MINE LOL' is not the best kingly strategy to employ, though gods know it's their favourite

@perevision I need to draw every single frame of this movie.

 @perevision Richie d-did you just do a corn princess wave to ENGLAND?

@perevision Protected account3h

Omg it's my favourite bit--i actually memorised the 'hollow crown' speech

Also, in this version Richard dresses like Jesus ON PURPOSE and has an adorable cheekboned faily boyfriend--er, 'cousin' named Aumerle. Aumerle was really hard to draw on the fly.

@perevision Protected account3h

I really don't think EVERYONE in England could have been this handsome, even if they were noblemen.

I really wish I'd done more Bolingbroke. He's very handsome too.

Anyway, there is a kerfuffle, Richard comes out with some HILARIOUS staging that I had no hope of being able to quickdraw but you can see on Hello_Tailor's post. I could, however, tweet about it.


@perevision Irrepressible peals of laughter are NOT the appropriate response to a King in full armour, even if the armour IS gold.

@perevision Protected account3h

Oh Richie, Richie are you wearing GLITTER?

Henry Bolingbroke just wants to get his assets back, but for some insane reason Richard decides to abdicate to him, which floors everyone.

@perevision Protected account3h

Oh Bolls, your FACE.

Most horrified is the Queen, who is wandering in some trippy landscape when she gets the news:

It is so otherworldly we don't even recognise it:

@Hello_Tailor do you remember, where is this glorious garden of the Argus & Fleur scene? It looks like Edward Scissorhands!

@Hello_Tailor3h

@perevision no idea...

Bolingbroke now confronts all those loyal to Richard, who insist that for the coronation to be legit Richard should be seen giving it away. Which led to a couple seconds of this:

@perevision Protected account3h

'Wait, you can't take the crown, Richard hasn't had his most epic scenery-chewing yet!' Also, great job on the donkey-pony, I see what u did

Here follows an epic sequence in which Richard uses the handover as an excuse to grandstand on a cosmic level. Here is what I probably looked like through most of it (except when I snapped to attention and remembered to scribble or post):

Holy shit Tweeps, every single time Richard even began to hand the crown over he would drag it back and start showboating. Allies and enemies alike--and me--just stared at him, all thinking the same thing.

@perevision Protected account3h

YOU KINGTEASE RICHARD, JUST GIVE HIM THE FUCKING CROWN

And then he asked FOR A MIRROR so he could see himself WOE-MONGERING.

Bolingbroke does get in some good shots:
@perevision 

Protected account3h

Oh burn, Bolingbroke. A cut direct.

@perevision Protected account3h

'The shadow of your sorrow, the shadow of your face.' Don't call out a drama king while he's drama kinging, Bolls, come on.

@perevision Protected account3h

Bolingbroke: Fuck's sake, I just wanted my house back.

Anyway, Richard finally Nestea Plunges himself out of kingship, and they send him to the Tower of London. Or at least the lines say so, though the production design suggests otherwise.

@perevision Protected account3h

Since when did the Tower of London have a cave??

But his loyal subjects plot to bring Richard back, and they might have gotten further if it hadn't been for lovely, empty-headed Aumerle:

'What letter? I don't have any letter. Oh you mean THIS letter, with the ENORMOUS seal you can clearly see even from ACROSS THE ROOM.'

@perevision Protected account3h

Aumerle, you pretty little moron, why didn't you just stamp the whole damn plan on your forehead?

Anyway, they get the pretty boy to shoot his pretty king in a satisfactorily St Sebastian-like way and drag his body back to now-King Bolingbroke:

Inside, the King's loincloth-clad, pale body is so artfully arranged that all it needed was the cross and the stigmata. I'm still convinced if Richard didn't get his kingship back, he thought this would be the next best thing.

@perevision Protected account3h

Richard's last wish to Aumerle: *shows him religious icon* 'This, make sure I look JUST LIKE THIS.' 'Twas his last & greatest flounce.

THE END. If you still have no idea what this movie was about...er, I don't blame you. Sorry about that.